Last night my wife and I attended the St. Mary's Hospital Gala, an annual dinner and dance fundraiser in St. Mary's County to benefit the hospital. Its primary donors comprise local businesses, which pay between $1,000 and $10,000 (and up) for a table, and it's generally a good opportunity to network with other companies. And this year I even bought a real tux for events like this instead of renting a burlap one, so I looked hot.
Now, private charity is a noble and wonderful thing. But the St. Mary's Hospital Gala is nothing if not a political event, always providing a good opportunity to witness corporatism at its finest, especially as the heads of local/national military contractors schmooze it up with Steny Hoyer looking for a heads-up on handouts of new contracts.
The night starts with a presentation of "the colors" -- the empire's assortment of flags -- and continues with the national war hymn. Initially, it's hard to tell whether you're at a charity event or a major national sporting event. Dr. Shah, who donated $25,000 to the hospital, kicked off dinner with a speech pimping MedStar Health, which to my knowledge doesn't directly operate St. Mary's Hospital but it must subsidize it pretty heavily because the good doc said something to the extent that we couldn't survive without it.
It was at this point that I turned to my wife and asked her if she too thought this sounded like a political speech, and my suspicions were validated a mere moment later as Shah praised Our Holy Lord Steny for taking time out of "his busy schedule" to grace us with his presence. I vomited in my mouth a little bit upon hearing that. Not least because that also meant taxpayers must subsidize this hospital pretty heavily too.
Funny thing about St. Mary's Hospital is that it sucks. Big time. I mean, it would be funny if generally horrible service and quality weren't so potentially devastating to people who need the direct opposite on one of the worst days of their lives. I'll spare you the story about how I had to diagnose my wife's appenticitis for the doctors in the ER about 10 years ago, but the running joke around town is that if you aren't dead when you arrive at SMH, you will be by the time you leave.
OK, maybe that's a little harsh. But seriously, dudes, I swear they must hold this fundraiser every year just to help settle malpractice suits. A sister-in-law told me last night that it primarily funds scholarships aimed at attracting good doctors to the area, so what do I know? All I really know is that every doctor wears a white lab coat with an "MD" after his or her name, but how many times have you gotten completely opposite opinions from two different doctors? Just sayin'.
I didn't start this post to criticize doctors. However, I will guarantee that if people like Steny Hoyer and his ilk get their way and nationalize health care even more, St. Mary's County and every other county in the country will see a decline in the quality of service before they see an increase.
But enough of that; I need to get to this story. The bartender working right across from our table last night wasn't exchanging patrons' mixed drink glasses with new ones when filling orders; she was just refilling used glasses and stirring them all with the same fancy glass stick she kept by her side the whole night. During flu season. At a hospital fundraiser. And no, she didn't sanitize the stirrer in between.
I'm not saying it was a conspiracy, but generally I don't believe in coincidence either.