who's your nanny?

How Americans View the World

I have to apologize to David Kramer for yanking this right off the LRC blog, but it's just too good not to reprint here. Click to enlarge.

My Life Really Sucks Now

Thanks to new network protocols at work, I'm prevented from even accessing personal websites and blogging software, much less using them to kill time during the day reading and writing.

Considering how infrequently I'm able to sit down at the computer at night, I'm starting to wonder just how much longer my own blog will be viable.

From the Mouths of Babes

Every summer my in-laws have their old high school friends over for a weekend of partying. I think it's great that after more than 40 years they all still keep in touch and come from several different states just to hang out together, and over the past 10 years I've gotten to know a few of them well. 

So yesterday we joined them for a few hours and I was talking to Bob from Ohio. He says, "Trevor, you gotta see this" as we go over to his four-year-old grandson who was swimming in the pool.

Bob: "Hey Will, who's the president of the United States?"

Will: "Barack Obama"

Bob: "And what does he do?"

Will: "Takes my daddy's money and gives it to other people."

As they say, teach your children well.

Happy Birthday, Tesla

Smartest. Man. Ever.

My Mom Used to Pretend to Call Child Services When I Didn't Behave...

...but this chick be nuts! (language)

Ducks Are Stupid (But Probably Smarter Than We Are)

I'm in a little bit of a funk. I really couldn't care less about Mark Sanford's affair or who his mistress is; or the cause of Michael Jackson's death, or his funeral arrangements; or Kim Jong's "vows" (again) to nuke the U.S.; or a "climate change" bill that would further wreck the economy; or the neverending propaganda from the state insisting there's a swine flu epidemic.

No, what I really thought was interesting this morning was that there were two mallard ducks -- one male, one female -- sitting in the middle of my street who really didn't care one way or the other whether I ran them over or not. Seriously, it wasn't until I drove right up to them and stopped that the male began to think about standing up. But by that time you know I coulda ... ka-blam!

Which got me to thinking. Are these ducks so stupid that they honestly don't know they should move out of the way of two tons of steel? And if so, what's that say about the PETArds who defend such idiocy?

Or, since mallards (like virtually all waterfowl) are protected by the federal Migratory Bird Treaty Act, have these creatures simply come to entrust their safety to the state so completely that they actually believe a stupid treaty will spare them a fate that is all too predictable for anyone who makes a habit of playing in traffic?

Of course, I swerved around these two lovebirds this morning. But I may just have to teach them both a lesson on my way home from work tonight if they're still relying on that silly treaty. After all, according to the state's logic, it'd be for their own good.

DTV Bites...But That's Not a Bad Thing

Last Friday, the transition to DTV was made. I don't know about anyone else's experience (especially since almost all of my friends have cable or satellite), but mine has been miserable. The digital picture freezes and I can no longer get some of the channels I could easily view in analog. I also hear a buzzing noise on every channel that I can actually see. I'm considering getting limited basic Comcast just so I can watch the few shows I like namely football and So You Think You Can Dance. I wonder if the cable and satellite companies played a role in this transition because they knew bad reception would urge more people to demand their services.

But truthfully I really don't watch much TV at all anymore. In January 2008 before the presidential election, I decided to actually educate myself rather than listen to the theater of the presidential debates. That turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. I read Thomas DiLorenzo's The Real Lincoln, Lincoln Unmasked, and How Capitalism Saved America; Thomas Woods' The Politically Incorrect Guide to American History; and Robert Murphy's The Politically Incorrect Guide to Capitalism. Those books led me to Lew Rockwell.com which then led me to Mises.org. Through the Mises library and book store I read H.L. Mencken's Notes on Democracy, Albert J. Nock's Our Enemy, the State, Frank Chodorov's The Income Tax-The Root of All Evil, Hans Hermann Hoppe's The Myth of National Defense and Democracy-The God That Failed, and Etienne de la Boetie's The Discourse of Voluntary Servitude. I downloaded podcasts from Mises daily and listened to them at home, at work, and in the car.  

Were it not for LewRockwell.com and the Mises Institute giving away this information for free, I doubt that I would be as radical as I am. I don't think I could have fully understood the root problem of the State without listening to Hans Hoppe or Robert Higgs or reading Murray Rothbard; I would not have been able to understand the fundamental flaws of modern economic theory without listening to Hans Hoppe's lecture on praexology; I would not have been disabused of the idea that we need a central bank without reading What Has Government Done to Our Money and The Mystery of Banking. I would not have purchased several of the books I read online in PDF form provided by the Mises Institute. I would not have emailed a note of solidarity to Trevor last year when I read his Examiner post "The Logic of the State" because I would not have understood the pejorative use of the term "State" by radicals. That initial email is why I am a co-blogger today. There would be no "Brutus" adding his intellectual ammunition in the war of ideas against the State. I probably would still be a libertarian-conservative thinking that the Constitution could be restored; that the State could be limited; that the US government acts to protect us from foreign enemies; that the police work to protect us from crime; and that we must have a central bank.

I realize that I am digressing from my main point about DTV being horrible. But without my education from LewRockwell.com and the Mises Institute, I would have had no reason to even question why the government made this transition. I would have had faith that the Federal Government was really trying to do something to improve the lives of the masses. The transition may or may not work, but I would not have questioned the government's intentions.

Maybe I'll just keep my TV as is. I could do a lot more for liberty by reading Socialism or the Anti-Federalists Papers than watching snowy reruns of Family Guy (no offense, Family Guy fans).

Generally, I'd Say I'm Not a Big Believer in Fate

But I have to admit this makes me think twice.

I've always been intrigued by the Final Destination movies, but I'd prefer to keep them confined to fiction, thank you very much.

Help Me Become Self-Employed

I'm not sure exactly when the ICS is going to get around to updating its website with winners from the May 16 DC101 Chili Cook-Off in the nation's capital, but the National Kidney Foundation has published its press release.

Celebrating its 30th anniversary in style, the DC101 Chili Cook-Off benefiting the National Kidney Foundation raised more than $1.5 million to fight kidney disease in the Washington, DC area, making it the National Kidney Foundation Serving the National Capital Areas’s largest one-day fundraiser in history!

As mentioned previously, yours truly took home rookie of the year honors and first place in the esteemed "ICS Red" category, and I'm in the process of gathering sponsors for the world championship to be held Oct. 9-11 at a venue yet to be determined (last year it was in Vegas and it has been covered by the Food Network). If you or your company is interested in advertising with me, please contact me here.

Moreover, I'm thinking about trying to market Stiff Willi Chili t-shirts, chili spice mixes, hot sauces, and maybe even get the ol' cookbook back in print now that I can boast "award winning" chili. Cafe Press will print my book on demand and manage payments and shipment, and I can even use them for anything from t-shirt to apron to coffee mug sales. So my question is, how do I actually tie in my political rantings with a prospective food and merchandise business? Or don't I? Do I sell my current and future cookbooks through the same online store as my chili-related products and keep the libertarian blogging separate?

I need to credit my friend Holli for getting me to think about pioneering a little chili merchandise business, for at my victory party last Saturday she was coming up with variations of my Stiff Willi Chili slogan ("...it'll leave you screamin'!) for new t-shirts and aprons. If you knew Holli, who's generally very professional and polite, you'd never have guessed that one of her ideas was for an apron that read, "ASK ME ABOUT MY MEAT."

Hey, I know this isn't necessarily for everyone, but you have to admit there are any number of slogans that would fit nicely with a cartoonish semi-phallic chili pepper logo. And what's more, if I have to sit behind a desk for the rest of my life, I really don't want to have to do it at someone else's office anymore.

Weigh in with comments...please! Is this futile or am I onto something here? More the merrier.

Dumbest Phrase Ever?

I was driving home from work last night behind a van belonging to an animal shelter. On the rear door was lettering advocating the spaying/neutering of dogs and cats, followed by the phrase, "If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem."

Can't you be neither?

What if I don't even have a pet? Clearly if I don't own a dog or cat I can't be accused of propagating the species, so therefore I can't be part of any perceived problem and I likewise have no obligation to be part of any so-called solution to overpopulation.

Note to everyone from animal activists to warmongers: There's such a thing as neutrality. If you don't cause problems in the first place, there's no need for solutions. But I'm guessing this sort of logic falls on deaf ears for anyone who needs an "enemy" to scapegoat in order to legitimize their own special interests.

Depression-Era Divorce

I love my wife, but I'm sure I'm not the only person who's felt at times that marriage is the price you pay to spend time with your kids everyday. And even if that were the only upside, it would be well worth it.

However, those who aren't so lucky are finding that depression-era divorce is resulting in some interesting arrangements.

Last Remaining Titanic Survivor Passes Away

Not many people have a life story like Millvina Dean's. RIP.

I'm As Excited As Sidney Crosby Wearing Leather Pants to a Clay Aiken Concert*

In other words, it's quittin' time on Friday and I'm going home to cold beer, clear skies, and a 19-month-old son who just last night did what any self-respecting father lives for: He pointed to my 1970 Chevelle in the garage and said, "Ride? Ride?"

Hell yeah, Biggie Smalls, get yer wife-beater on! Time to hit the open road!

*

Virginia DMV Bans Smiling

Via Karen De Coster, Virginia has banned smiling at the Department of Motor Vehicles. In the spirit of giving credit where it's due, props to the headline writers at the Post, who prefaced this message with "As if it needed to."

Few places in Virginia are as draining to the soul and as numbing to the buttocks as the branch offices of the Department of Motor Vehicles. And yet, until recently, smiling was still permitted there.

No more. As part of the DMV's effort to develop super-secure driver's licenses and foolproof identification cards, the agency has issued a smile ban, directing customers to adopt a "neutral expression" in their portraits, thereby extinguishing whatever happiness comes with finally hearing one's number called.

Just another step down the well-greased slope of liberties lost under the guise of "security."

Thankfully, this is one mandate that wouldn't impact me one bit. You'll never catch me smiling while ensnared by the state's grubby, coercive paws.

He's Back!

Last year I posted Brandon Bryant's audition for So You Think You Can Dance. I was simply blown away by his performance. His musicality, his techinque, his power, his control are all amazing. I consider it a blessing to be able to watch him.

Unfortunately, he did not make the top 20 last year, but he's back this year with an even better performance. This routine brought one of the judges to tears. Yes, it's that amazing!

You can see his performance at last year's audition below:

ICS World Championship Set for Oct. 9-11

As a result of placing first in the ICS Red category in the regional DC101 Chili Cook-Off a couple weekends ago, I earned an automatic spot in the world chili championship, which plays host to 400 of the world's finest chili cooks and is traditionally held out west.

Although the International Chili Society hasn't yet decided on the location of the world championship, I found out yesterday that Charleston, West Virginia, is in the running to host the international event being planned for Oct. 9-11.

Given that I live in Maryland, it would be a small miracle if the ICS chose Charleston because the world championship has never been held east of the Mississippi. However, if it were that would mean my participation would be entirely feasible. Last year's contest was held in Las Vegas and while I've always wanted to visit, I have no idea how I'd make that trip considering I'd literally have to tote all my supplies across the country. I'd have to gain sponsorship from Winnebago just to be able to afford to drive there and back over the course of a week or more.

Considering the ICS rules say I'm not even allowed to enter my red chili in another contest this year until the world championship, let's consider this my official request that the ICS give us easterners a shot to host it for the first time in 43 years.

Follow Me at Twitter

I'm not the most technologically savvy guy around when it comes to new age social applications, but if you'd like to follow me at Twitter, check me out here: http://twitter.com/bothwelltj.

We'll see how this goes..

Win DC101 Chili Cook-Off: Check

I didn't have many items on my to-do list this past weekend. As I announced last week, Saturday was the DC101 Chili Cook-Off, so turning out a good batch of my competition chili was just about the only thing on my mind.

This was the first chili contest I've ever entered so I didn't really know what to expect and therefore I didn't set my expectations too high. I was confident I had a good Texas red recipe but that was about it.

Interestingly enough, I took first place in the prestigious ICS Red category and also won Rookie of the Year honors. Not bad for a chili cookoff virgin I suppose.

I'm pretty sure most chili cooks regard their recipe as a work in progress, and I'm no different. Even though I was hoping to have mine nailed down a week before the cookoff, I quickly realized that wasn't gonna happen; I actually made at least three fairly significant changes to ingredients or cooking technique the day of.

Primarily I was hoping to achieve a better gravy consistency than I'd gotten in weeks prior, and I was unsure of how much heat the chili needed. Granted, the judges weren't on hand to pick their favorite apple pie, but the "not too mild, not too hot" guideline really doesn't give you much to go on, so I was wracking my brain Thursday night trying to decide how many green chiles to use and when to add them.

Anyhow, I'm fairly sure there aren't many people who take home the gold on their first shot, especially in a regional competition, so I was simultaneously humbled and gratified after all the preparation I went through. Here are some photos taken throughout the entire day, and I'll post some more later as I get them.

Here's a shot of our tent in the middle of Row 3. Many thanks to my homie Mike Jordan at Grand Rental Station for lending me the tent for the weekend. My Stiff Willi Chili shirts were a huge hit, and we sold more than 30 and gave away many more.

This is me doing one last run-through before lighting the stoves at 11:00.

  

This is my brother Erik, who designed one helluva chili pepper logo but apparently didn't see the memo saying soul patches are soooo '70s '80s '90s never.

 

Team Stiff Willi Chili, from left to right: Mike, Brady, Erik, and me.

 

Best thing about chili cookoffs: Once the first spice dump is history, you get to stand around and drink for an hour.

 

 

Stiff Willi Chili, only a half-hour in and well before he knew he was the man.

 

Fellow competitors:

 

 

These guys with the "3 Meat Mouth Massage" chili were right across from us and were responsible for eliciting the best joke of the day. One of the girls yelled, "Hey! How about a three-meat mouth massage?" To which my brother deadpanned, "There's four of us."

Classic.

 

Notice the chef is not in the picture.

 

Erin and Amie

 

Strikin' a pose while we wait on the judges.

The fawning groupies come out of the woodwork after Daddy brings it home.

 

The rain started coming down around 6:00, but we really didn't care at that point.

 

 

 

On a side note, Washington Redskins tight end Chris Cooley was one of the judges and apparently he had me in second place overall. I was the first loser in his eyes so I figured maybe he'd make it all up to me by hooking a brother up and pimpin' my t-shirt on his blog after my buddy's wife gave him one -- but all he could muster was the one he made himself and wore at the cookoff.

Of course, he still ranked me high enough to get me to the finals table so I guess I can't hold this against him for too long. Maybe he'll accept an invitation to my upcoming victory party and make all the women happy, and we'll call it even.

Finally, I can't close without mentioning that the DC101 Chili Cook-Off benefits the National Kidney Foundation, through which I met a recent kidney transplantee named Patsy after I found out I won. It was nice to be able to put a face to the cause, and I couldn't help getting in my plug for a free market in transplant organs.

I was a half-dozen beers and a couple Jell-O shooters deep by this point, but it was interesting how the NKF employees I was talking to were so uniformly against the free trade of organs -- despite the fact that Patsy said she waited in line for months on a recipient list before she was able to get a new kidney. When I said we don't have to wait indefinitely to buy new jeans or automobiles, that didn't seem to faze them. Now, these were some of the most pleasant people I've ever met, so it wasn't like they were adamantly refuting my reasoning or anything like that; I could just tell that they'd probably never considered that there could be an alternative to the government-mandated status quo.

No doubt proceeds from this year's cookoff will help to fund life-saving kidney research, and I'm happy that our team helped to raise money toward that effort. Even though I oppose the NKF's advocacy for federal support of kidney disease programs, the beauty of events like the DC101 Chili Cook-Off -- fundraisers that rely on private donations -- is that they prove there is no need for compulsory participation in worthwhile causes.

Team 'Stiff Willi Chili'

Yours truly will be competing in the DC101 Chili Cook-Off this Saturday at RFK Stadium in Washington, D.C. I really have no idea what to expect, but one thing I can tell you is that cooking chili over a propane stove in a parking lot with only a bucket of soapy water to wash utensils is a heck of a lot different than cooking in the confines of your home, where you tend to find things like cooperative gas ranges and indoor plumbing.

I've been trying to avoid taking out a home equity loan to finance all the practice batches I've been making the past six months, so if nothing else I should save a lot of money once this weekend is past. Overall, though, the cookoff should be a great time -- hey, what more could you want than 100 chili cooks in the middle of a huge rock concert? -- and proceeds benefit the National Kidney Foundation.

So if you're up in D.C. this weekend, grab a ticket to the chili cookoff and head to Row 3 and look for a big sign that reads "T-REV's STIFF WILLI CHILI." I can promise the chili will be good (though perhaps not quite as good as our t-shirts), and the company will be even better. Hurry, though. As far as I'm aware tickets are still available, but they've sold out the past couple years and they're expecting about 30,000 people this weekend.

Real quick, I want to give a shout to my sponsors, without whom the $1,500-plus that this competition's running me would've been nearly impossible to fund without getting divorced:

- Law Offices of Kevin J. McDevitt, LLC
- Blue Heron Aviation
- St. Mary's Lighting & Electric
- Tiki Joe Securities, LLC
- Airtec, Inc.
- Catamarans Restaurant
- CSI, Inc.
- Grand Rental Station (Solomons, Maryland)

Thanks also to my brother Erik for taking my rough draft of an excitable chili pepper and turning it into a graphic masterpiece. He likes to sleep and drink a lot, so it was especially meaningful when he stayed up till 1 a.m. one night a few weeks ago making sure his buddy scanned the drawing so I could get the .jpg version to the screenprinters by the following morning. Well done, bro.

Last but not least, I have to mention the girls from Chesapeake Custom Embroidery who helped me design the entire logo you see above and then did an outstanding job incorporating it into what became my t-shirts and banner. The entire process was painless and efficient, and they're my first suggestion for anyone looking for screenprinting or embroidery work in the southern Maryland area (and no, I'm not getting paid to say that).

Oh, and I almost forgot.. Brutus of WYN fame is also planning on attending the cookoff, which means that we will actually be able to meet for the very first time in person. Believe it or not, I had no idea who he was when he emailed me out of the blue and we started discussing radical libertarianism, so I have quite a bit to look forward to this Saturday.

Later for now.

Happy Birthday, Kimmy

I laughed out loud last night when this car pulled in front of me as I was driving home from work, and I had to take a picture. It's easier to read if you click on the photo to enlarge it, but the rear window reads, "I'M 21 BITCHES."

 

As I pulled around the car I noticed that the side window had "Kimmy's finally 21!" (or something like that) written on it, so the whole ensemble was most likely a nice surprise from friends.

Of course, my happiness for the birthday girl was coupled with a tinge of depression because consuming an alcoholic beverage shouldn't have to be viewed as such a significant milestone that it warrants this type of anticipatory celebration in the first place.

In a free country, perfectly legal adults wouldn't be prohibited from consuming alcohol for three years. Come to think of it, there probably wouldn't be such a thing as a "legal adult" either.

But enough of that for now. Happy Birthday, Kimmy. Here's to hoping it was everything you expected it to be.

Swine Flu No-No

If you agree with Joe Biden, you might be holing yourself up in your house in the attempt to avoid the swine flu.

Me? I'd take a more practical approach. Just don't do this:

How the Swine Flu Can Become a Pandemic

If you want the swine flu to go from an irrelevant nuisance to a full-blown pandemic, just put the gubmint in charge of containing it.

The U.S. has some of most academically inept children in the world despite record "education" spending; it brings peace and democracy to foreign lands by literally demolishing them; it "fixes" economic problems by engaging in the very same behaviors that created them in the first place; and after more than a trillion dollars and thousands of lives lost either to prison cells or the graveyard, the "war on drugs" has resulted in no meaningful decrease in drug use among adults.

So why all of a sudden would we expect the state to be able to prevent a disease from infecting us? If anything, it will merely exacerbate the problem, to the extent one even exists at all.

This hysteria is nothing more than an attempt by the government to commandeer even more authority over our private lives. And if you even doubt this in the least, Janet Napolitano is already "warning" Americans to prepare for a new flu outbreak even if the swine flu proves to be a dud.

What buffoons.

I'm Back: Mexico's Aftershocks

After more than a half-day's worth of glorious airline travel and nearly missing my connection in Miami last night, I've finally returned from vacation in Mexico. And thanks to American Airlines, I'm one suitcase lighter.

Speaking of which, American sucks. Oh sure, we didn't crash or anything, and I can even handle "losing" luggage due to simple human error as long as it doesn't happen very often. And, of course, considering you have to hand your luggage off to TSA agents at customs, I suppose it's a small miracle you ever get from points A to B with everything you've checked. But it's not the government's fault when AA reps tell you they can't locate your bag -- makes you wonder what all those fancy tracking numbers are for -- because "it's probably still sitting on the cart waiting for the next flight from Miami to Dulles." If you're wondering why that precludes a baggage handler in Miami from running to the fricking cart and looking for my bag, you're not alone.

Anyway, most regular readers know by this point that I can't stand flying in the first place, but I won't ever be doing it with American Airlines again. I can actually handle the luggage issue and crappy customer "service" -- in this rent-seeking nation we've become, I don't usually expect much from companies who employ more than 50 people -- but, seriously, is it too much to ask for an airline to hand out a pack of pretzels during a two and a half hour flight? And if the intent really is just to get people to drop 20 bucks for a couple sandwiches, which is advertised at the outset of the flight, is it too much to ask for those sandwiches to actually be available?

Whatever. I'm done bitching about American. It's Southwest or, better yet, nothing from now on.

Before going any further, many thanks to Brutus, who in no uncertain terms kept this blog afloat while I was away. Honestly, I'm starting to wonder why I even bother writing anymore after reading his posts from the past week. Well done.

With that, a few random comments and observations from my trip:

- For starters, week-long excursions to remote arid climates are no longer called "vacations" when they involve one-and-a-half-year-olds. They are work, plain and simple.

- After almost two decades in the sauce, I've finally discovered the cure for the common hangover: going to bed at 8:30 p.m.

- If the duty-free section of Cancun International was any indication, one needn't a prescription for drugs like Viagra and amoxicillin in Mexico. Admittedly, I was there for only a week. But from what I could tell, there are many, many Mexicans living there, which leads me to believe that their failure to overregulate drugs (you know, like Sudafed (!)) is not resulting in wanton deaths.

- The weather in the Mayan Riviera in April is freaking awesome.

- In general, everyday Mexicans speak much better English than everyday Americans speak Spanish.

- Why do so many Americans freak out when private companies like Lowes and Wal-mart post signs in English and Spanish? Even in downtown Playa del Carmen and Cancun, almost everything you read is written bilingually. Could it be that businesses are just trying to cater to and capitalize on their most frequent customers? Nah!

- This should come as little surprise, but Mexican beer is good. Compared to the home-brewed garbage you usually find in the Caribbean islands, this is reason alone to visit Mexico before many other tropical locales. Even though most of the Dos Equis I consumed was from a tap at a pool bar, it was head and shoulders above Aruba's Balashi and the Dominican's Presidente.

- If you're looking for a great resort in Mexico, you can't go wrong with the Iberostar Paraiso Maya. The resort is spotless, the maids mop your floor every day, almost everyone can get you where you need to go in English, and for an all-inclusive, the food generally was above average.

- However, how ironic is it that the worst dinner I had in Mexico was at the Mexican restaurant?

- That said, the Mexican fare at the lunch buffets was pretty good. Good combination of authentic Mexican cuisine for the adults with American-style fries and burgers for the kids.

- Calling Barry Obama: Somehow in all your spending glory you have failed to create all the gummint jobs our country can handle. There is a job opening at Miami International at Gate 4 of the customs terminal -- the one (of several) you must report to with your immigration card after you've frantically grabbed your luggage and try to head to the one (of several) where you drop it off for yet further screening. Gates 1-3 were staffed with some of America's finest parasitic protectors, but I can only imagine the Gate 4 inspector's failure to report for duty was in large part responsible for the massive bottleneck I encountered in my near-futile attempt to make my connection.

- I would be remiss if I didn't give a shout out to my girl at the Starbucks counter at the E 20-25 terminal at Miami International, who donated a bottle of cold milk to my little boy after she had closed down for the night as I was literally running with about two minutes to spare to catch my flight. I offered to pay and then a tip and she declined both. It was most likely a karmic response to my decision to scarf down a venti caramel frappuccino earlier in the day, but it was mucho appreciated. My decision to grab another at 1:00 a.m. this morning out of some perverse food-and-sleep-deprived sense of emotional solidarity when we finally arrived at Dulles -- which almost instantaneously sent me into sugar shock during the ride home -- was probably not my best decision of the past week.

Well, kids, that's it for now. I'm trying to help the wife clean up after the fallout upon returning home and still make it to Tiki Bar on Solmons Island in time to enjoy a couple hours of the afternoon sun here in Maryland, which is finally beginning to see some of those balmy spring temps that attracted me to this police state in the first place. Oh, and if you don't get that final reference, this should help.

Finally, if you're reading this, you've decided to stick with me upon my return from a week-long absence, and that means a lot.

Kal Penn Decides to Waste His Talent

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's a big fan of the hit TV drama House, and when Kal Penn's character was suddenly written off the show last night by way of suicide, I immediately wondered what role he landed that would've made such a move worthwhile.

Imagine my surprise when I found out today that he quit in order to work for Barack Obama. Not because he'll be making a lot less money, mind you, but because he'll be trading a productive career in the meritorious field of acting for the popular but entirely unproductive career of parasitic bureaucrat.

Penn, 31, will become associate director in the White House Office of Public Liaison, administration officials confirmed Tuesday. The Indian-American film star will be an emissary to the Asian-American and Pacific Islander communities, along with arts and entertainment groups.

I might be compromising my own credibility with sophisticated readers, but I actually loved Penn's roles as an affable stoner in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle and as a nerdy ladies-man-in-training in National Lampoon's Van Wilder. But regardless of what you think about sophomoric movies about sex and drugs, remember one thing: political actors are much more dangerous than private ones.

Fire in Control Tower at BWI

According to my mother, whose flight to Buffalo has been delayed.

This doesn't really have anything to do with the nanny state -- notwithstanding the fact that all airport control towers fall under federal purview -- but sometimes it's nice when worthless bloggers scoop all the super-duper-important mainstream media outlets.

UPDATE: Turns out the tower was evacuated due to the smell of smoke, but no smoke or fire was found. Normal operations should be underway once again.

When April Fools Have Full-Time Jobs

Remember when April Fools Day meant you could make jokes because satire hadn't yet become reality?

Well, those days are gone. In an age when everyday political realities threaten to run The Onion out of business (theoretically at the moment, at least), it's hard to know what's what anymore.

Up is down.

Left is right.

Welcome to Amerika.

Okay, so that last one actually was a joke. But the real question is, for how long?

Greener Grass

It's important in life to reach out, to strive for greater achievements, to go for that greener grass that is on the other side of the fence. But one must also be careful. Sometimes you can reach too far.

   

But when you find yourself over-extended and you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should always remember:

 

Your government is here to help.

(Thanks to Paul C.)

SoMd PIGs Reject the Trough

A friend and former co-worker of mine, Jon Sola, has started a non-partisan grassroots political organization in Southern Maryland that goes by the name "PIG" -- Political Interest Group -- through which he seeks to help restore principles of limited government by attracting supporters ranging the political spectrum, but who likewise have become fed up with the increasing usurpation of individual liberties at the federal, state, and local levels.

At the behest of Jon, I attended the inaugural meeting last Wednesday night, and while the group is not nearly radical enough for my tastes, it is a political reality in this country that we're not going to be able to simply flip the proverbial light switch and recapture freedom lost to the ever-expanding state and its goon squad. Therefore, though I wish more people would reject coercive government out of hand, if we're to make any headway in beating back the state, we have to play within the system we've unfortunately created.

Of the nine attendees at the meeting, the majority identified themselves as either a Republican or independent, but almost to a person everyone had become dissatisfied with the big-government policies of the GOP; expressed a palpable fear of what's to come in light of the all-Democrat federal and Maryland state governments; and recognized that most politicians, no matter what their affiliation, ultimately join forces against the citizenry they ostensibly serve.

The SoMd PIG is a libertarian-leaning organization that rejects the "Democrat vs. Republican" politicization of the issues, and instead aligns itself more with Ron Paul's Campaign for Liberty, Glenn Beck's 9-12 Project, and the "tea party" movements that are sprouting up across the country to protest the direction the country is headed.

This group is in its nascent stages and is looking for participants willing to volunteer some of their own time in working toward goals of 1) identifying pro-liberty candidates interested in running for local, state, and federal office, 2) formulating a well-organized network of like-minded individuals willing to publicly challenge our current officials, and 3) eventually putting an end to local government corruption.

Like Rep. Ron Paul, the SoMd PIG holds the U.S. Constitution in high regard and hopes to effect a return to some of the core values present at the time of the country's founding. While limited government clearly is preferable to the federal behemoth and its satellite nanny- and police-states we're currently shackled with, I hope to see this group eventually move in a more radical direction.

One thing that was evident at last week's meeting was the overall intelligence and open-mindedness of prospective members. Given that I've become personally acquainted with people who, through only a little self-study have finally started to realize that the Constitution and so-called "democratic" governments we install are themselves responsible for the very bloat and oppression we currently protest, I see no reason the SoMd PIG can't embrace a big tent of supporters who may differ when it comes to the particulars, but who nevertheless understand that individual liberty is ultimately impossible unless we (at least ideally) embrace the notion of self-government and reject the idea that we must be ruled by a political elite.

If you live in Southern Maryland and you're interested in joining this group -- or even if you live outside Maryland and wish to network with the SoMd PIG to strengthen your own local efforts -- shoot me an email at bothwelltj - at - yahoo.com and I can put you in touch with Jon Sola.

Are You a 'Hater?'

Do people call you a "hater" because you oppose coercive government programs whose goods and services could be provided just as well, if not much better, by the private sector?

Manuel Lora has a quick and dirty litmus test if you're interested in determining whether or not you (ironically) find yourself among the hated.

This Guy Won

We might need a bailout of the teleprompter industry.

Maryland Ranks Dead Last in Personal Freedom

If this comes as a surprise, you don't spend much time reading this blog.

Arman Partamian: Update

The New York State Police department has released the blood alcohol content of Arman Partamian, the SUNY Geneseo student who was found dead last Sunday in an off-campus house belonging to current members of my old fraternity, the PIGS.

State Police say the BAC in Partamian's heart blood registered .39 percent, and his urine registered .49 percent. However, the vitreous humor alcohol level (eyeball fluid) tested at .55 percent. That's nearly seven times the legal limit to drive of .08 percent.

The vitreous humor test is most accurate because eye fluid doesn’t break down over time, police said.

If these results are accurate, .55 percent of Partamian's blood comprised alcohol. My first thought is one of amazement, primarily because I have never experienced or learned of any PIGS orientation activity that would have accounted for such lethal intake of alcohol. And this information merely reveals Arman's BAC at the time of his death -- it doesn't indicate how many different varieties of alcohol (or other potential substances) were present in his bloodstream, how they may have gotten there, or whether some of them got there prior to Arman's consumption with the PIGS.

On the surface this surely doesn't bode well for the PIGS organization, as it currently faces public condemnation from everyone from the college president to the rank and file student body. For instance, just today a girl named Katie called me an "asshat" for failing to prematurely join the lynch mob and wrote, "[Arman] was 7 times the legal limit and was being made to run around a bonfire and drink an entire bottle of Jack [Daniels]."

As I've noted, there's a difference between forcing someone to do something against his will and requiring him to do something to which he has already consented. After all, there's a difference between pulling a girl off the sidewalk and raping her in a forest and giving her 300 bucks if she'll have sex on camera.

I haven't verified the claim that Arman was told to run around a bonfire with a bottle of liquor (this report indicates police found no evidence of anybody around a bonfire when they visited the PIGS house Saturday night). However, even if this were so, again, there's a palpable difference between forcing someone to do this despite pleas to the contrary and merely requiring it based on a consensual agreement. In short, Arman (along with his fellow "pledges") either engaged in these activities willingly or he didn't.

I can only speak to PIGS protocols that were in place when I was in college during the '90s, but the organization has always made prospective members aware that there will be certain orientation activities that require the intake of alcohol. Therefore, if that's just not your bag, you have every right and opportunity to walk away. In fact, as a 5-year member of the organization (my final year was grad school), I saw some guys do exactly that. And yet others chose to stay. I suppose you could say that's one good way to weed out people who don't belong in a "drinking club." But any way you slice it, you must admit that the PIGS let you know what to expect from the get-go.

Now, even among some critics who accept the fact that 19-year-old Arman willingly ingested alcohol, there are those who believe the PIGS should be held liable for providing alcohol to a minor. Given the severity of this tragedy, it's a virtual certainty that the police and DA will file these charges, but in reality they're neither here nor there. For one thing, drinking laws are unjust and should be abolished; but at minimum, anyone who's an adult in the eyes of the law should be able to drink alcohol. Period.

So let's just put that argument aside for now. After all, if the police were to start charging everyone on campus for this "crime," the college would essentially cease to exist almost overnight. (Are you starting to see why they don't?) Moreover, the PIGS are hardly the only organization on campus that provides alcohol to underclassmen.

So what's actually happening here is that the PIGS are being offered up as the scapegoat for any and all "untoward" behavior at SUNY Geneseo. Regardless of the particulars, many seem to say, this incident can be used to finally put an end to those "renegades" that have all the fun and steal all our girlfriends!

In no uncertain terms, if it can be proven that Arman was forced to drink against his will, then anyone responsible for such an act of aggression should be held accountable for his death. However, through a discussion with a recent Geneseo graduate and PIG alumnus who wishes to remain anonymous at this point but nevertheless has reliable knowledge of the day in question, I was told that Arman was a willing participant in last Saturday's activities. In fact, he tells me that Arman was quite well-known for being a partier, someone who loved to play drinking games and boast his drinking prowess. (If this is true, it's certainly no surprise that he fit in well with the PIGS.) Put another way, Arman wasn't exactly the doe-eyed naif that many associated with the media and college are trying to portray him as.

Furthermore, one crucial element that way too many detractors seem all to willing to overlook is that Arman suffered from Evans Syndrome, an autoimmune disease where antibodies attack red blood cells and platelets. While it may be premature to speculate (absent comprehensive autopsy results) as to whether this contributed to his death, this could explain why Arman's BAC was so high. If he suffered from a condition that reduced his blood supply, it stands to reason that any foreign substance(s) contained within his blood could comprise a higher percentage relative to someone who wasn't afflicted.

In closing, I should point out that I granted an interview this morning to Rochester Democrat and Chronicle reporter Bennet Loudon, who originally reported on this incident, and I discussed with him much of what I've written here. We shall see if the mainstream media is willing to report information debunking many of the outrageous allegations portraying the PIGS as a bunch of miscreants who exist solely to force-feed alcohol to unsuspecting admirers.

SUNY Geneseo Student Found Dead after Party

In a story that hits close to home, Geneseo State University student Arman Partamian was found dead last Sunday morning in an off-campus house, hours after apparently drinking a significant amount of alcohol the day before.

Why is this personal? Partamian was enrolled at my college alma mater and was also "pledging" my old "fraternity," the Order of the Orange Knights -- better known as PIGS -- when he died.

I use the quotes above because PIGS is a social organization, not a fraternity; and to become a member you partake in orientation, not pledging. Given this tragic situation these are relatively meaningless details, but I wanted to point out the distinction because I will revisit this point later. In short, the PIGS aren't "Greek" -- their motto, "We don't care if you don't like us," is proof positive of that -- and Geneseo is the only college in the country where you'll find them.

Alcohol-related college deaths always tend to bring the holier than thou out of the woodwork to condemn the "irresponsibility" and "recklessness" of our youth, and if this statement by Geneseo president Christopher Dahl is any indication, there's a good chance most of the fraternities and sororities at Geneseo will increasingly find themselves in the administration's crosshairs from now on:

We strongly condemn irresponsible organizations that ignore the expectations and values of the College, recruit students like Arman and then encourage behavior that puts their lives at risk. We will continue to do all that is legally within our power to eliminate the detrimental influence these renegade organizations have on our students and community.

As the president of a state university, Dahl obviously is required to worship at the alter of political correctness, but with all due respect, he can save the melodrama. For starters, he's the president of a college; if he wants to run an institution filled with mature conformers, maybe he should consider working for the Key Bank down the street instead.

Furthermore, what's worse: voluntarily joining a social club whose members like to drink, or serving as the top administrator of a public college that exists largely at the expense of coerced taxpayers? Mr. Dahl may want to be careful if he's looking for a moral debate.

And, seriously, "renegade organizations" that "put lives at risk?" President Dahl runs a small Division III school in rural upstate New York. If this hyperbole is the type of rhetoric one can expect to receive from a university president in response to off-campus weekend parties, I'd love to see how he'd react if he actually had to deal with real campus hooligans who, say, set whole communities afire and destroy private property after big football or basketball games.

Arman Partamian's death is nothing short of a tragedy, and my thoughts are with his family and friends. But the reality of the matter is that these unfortunate incidents are the exception. Clearly this fact doesn't make any alcohol-related death easier to bear, but there's not an organization on campus -- Greek or otherwise -- that sets out to do tangible harm to its pledges or any other student who attends an open party. These interactions are the epitome of voluntary association between consenting adults, as students join fraternities and sororities knowing full well that they may face hazing rituals and be subjected to ridicule.

Which brings me to my final point. I've read a couple reports that refer to the PIGS as a "drinking club." Yes, if you meet a PIG, there will be no confusion as to what one of his favorite pastimes is. It's not peculiar to find him bent over a garbage can in the I.B. at 2 a.m. on a Thursday night, or even standing behind an "enemy" DK or Omega to have his back outside the bar when punks from R.I.T. roll into town looking for a fight. Nor, incidentally, is it uncommon to find him volunteering for any number of charity events, from wheelchair basketball games to Big Brothers/Big Sisters to memorial golf fundraisers.

The reason I distinguished the PIGS from the Greek fraternities on campus is because the PIGS actually take pride in not behaving like the typical frat, which generally is known to demean its pledges by forcing them to engage in any number of denigrating, ritualisic activities throughout campus. Personally, I've always regarded this as a virtue and an exhibition of good character -- the same type, by the way, that the PIGS look for in potential members and obviously found in Arman Partamian, who spent some of his free time as a volunteer EMT with the Geneseo fire department.

Though the "littles" may be required to take part in various organized drinking activities before they get their jerseys (signifying official entry into the organization), the PIGS tell all interested parties upfront that they will be treated like equals during orientation; they simply want all their prospective brethren to have fun, hang out together, and get to know everyone in the organization as they create bonds and friendships that will last a lifetime. The fact that alcohol is involved is secondary; you don't become a PIG if you don't like to drink.

If President Dahl and his fellow critics really want to take productive measures to mitigate the potential for "binge drinking"-related student deaths, perhaps they could advocate the abolition of tyrannical laws that encourage fraternity parties in the first place by preventing young adults from drinking legally in bars and restaurants.

Or maybe instead of alienating his own students by castigating them as evil reprobates -- the vast majority of whom graduated at the top of their respective high school classes -- Mr. Dahl could accept that fact that most college kids are going to drink and work within that construct to try to form partnerships with them that could somehow reduce the potential for tragedy.

Then again, maybe there's just not an "answer" here. As difficult as it is, maybe you just have to accept the fact that sometimes people make mistakes and that accidents happen.

These are sad days in Geneseo, but blaming the PIGS or fraternities in general for decisions individuals make misses the point and tarnishes the memory of Arman Partamian, who from my vantage point made a choice to join an organization that welcomed him and made him happy.

There will always be critics and second-guessing, and there are few words to comfort parents who've lost a child. But if I may, I'll offer just one thought: If you have a son the state and its accomplices consider a "renegade," that in itself is a badge of honor and you should be damned proud.

Arman Partamian, rest in peace.

Don't Believe a Word That Comes out of Obama's Mouth

It's practically impossible for me to actually listen to the drivel that spouts from Obama's lips -- or any president's, for that matter -- so instead of tuning in to Our Holy Savior's speech before Congress, I watched my Sabres blow another important game in their seemingly-futile hunt for an NHL playoff bid.

But I did catch a report on the speech this morning and even googled the transcript, and as I suspected yesterday, it was little more than an exercise in collectivist rhetoric. From promises to "rebuild" and "recover" by providing federal subsidies for irresponsible homeowners and banks to insulting students who decide to drop out of ineffective government schools as he lauded schoolchildren who write letters to the president begging for even more handouts, the Obamessiah surely didn't disappoint all the welfare kings and queens in the crowd.

Overall, the speech was filled with the same pointless jibberish about "national unity" and "revival" that you'd get from just about any president. You either buy into it or you don't, so I don't really feel like there's much point in trying to dissect the tripe.

But sometimes it is fun to point out the blatant falsehoods that tend to riddle these political cheerleading sessions. For instance, Obama said we "should not," "will not" protect American automakers "from their own bad practices." Apparently the billions-laden bailout package was just a mirage.

In defending this protection that really isn't protection, the Profit Prophet then said, "And I believe the nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it."

First of all, if Obama wants the "nation that invented the automobile" to prop up the auto industry here in America, he might want to approach the French, Swiss, and Germans for some assistance. Germany's Karl Benz is generally regarded as the inventer of the modern automobile -- well after France's Nicolas-Joseph Cugnot built what is believed to be the first self-propelled mechanical vehicle and Switzerland's François Isaac de Rivaz invented the first internal combustion engine.

It's unlikely that one person could reasonably take all the credit for the invention of the automobile given that its creation resulted from a compilation of several imporant technological innovations. But even if a single man could, he most likely didn't live in America. No one in the U.S. arrived on the automobile scene until 1902, when Ransom Olds pioneered production line manufacturing, a concept later perfected by Henry Ford for mass production.

While there is some dispute as to who deserves credit as inventor of the first modern automobile, the fact remains that it was invented by an individual, not "a nation." I realize the 19th century was a little before the halcyon days of today's American welfare state, but if Obama insists on pushing all this nationalistic, collectivist blather, the least he could do is get his history straight.

But that's nothing in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps Obama's most egregious falsehood of the night was spewed when he discussed the economic hardships his policies are imposing on innocent Americans:

My budget does not attempt to solve every problem or address every issue. It reflects the stark reality of what we've inherited -- a trillion-dollar deficit, a financial crisis, and a costly recession.

Given these realities, everyone in this chamber -- Democrats and Republicans -- will have to sacrifice some worthy priorities for which there are no dollars. And that includes me.

What fatuous bunk. Nothing is so preposterously misleading as a politician's claim that he's "struggling" right along with the common schlep. Even as the economy is tanking and private companies and families are cutting back, the federal behemoth continues to grow. You can rest assured that tax-eating parasites in the nation's capital will continue to live the lives of luxury to which they've grown accustomed as they increasingly feed on their taxpaying hosts.

There exists no "worthy priority" that can be purchased with money confiscated from its rightful owners. That Obama insists with a straight face that a supposed cutback in spending money stolen from complete strangers constitutes some noble "sacrifice" is proof of his complete smarminess and audacity.

Believe this man at your own peril.

"How many people do I have to kill so that my face is on your shirt?"

That, ladies and gents, is the quote of the day -- courtesy of Manuel Lora, who asked his wife the question at the gym today upon seeing a guy in an Obama tee.

Define Irony

A prominent member of the local Muslim community in Buffalo has been charged with beheading his wife.

Muzzammil Hassan is the founder and chief executive officer of Bridges TV, which he launched in 2004, amid hopes that it would help portray Muslims in a more positive light.

Not sure this was the best way to go about that.

The Ladies Should Be Happy This Valentine's Day

Great...

After all the complaining I've done in my life to protest the most wretched Hallmark holiday of them all -- Valentine's Day -- I'm going to suggest something I never thought possible: buy gold jewelry.

No doubt you've noticed during the past year or so that there's been a significant uptick in advertising for companies that buy gold. It's because they've noticed that many Americans are strapped for cash, and business has been brisk as people have taken to selling off old jewelry to make a little extra money.

It is always wise to hang onto any commodity that holds its value -- like gold, silver, or platinum -- and especially so during a depression. And not only should you resist the urge to sell it off, but you should also buy as much of it as possible. Converting fiat dollars to, say, gold bullion coins is a relatively safe way to retain your wealth in an unhealthy economy.

So while gold jewelry consumption has fallen as a result of higher gold prices, it's still a safe bet to pick some up where you can -- even if you have to use the dreaded Valentine's Day as an excuse.

But just remember, the more you undermine the state by engaging in subversive acts to protect your property from the grubby paws of criminal politicians, the more they'll be encouraged to prevent you from doing it. Which means it's probably a good idea to buy a few more guns as well.

Wanna Get Away?

I have a buddy who's a commercial pilot, and every now and again we talk about how, if we were serious enough, it would be fairly easy to just up and leave our current life -- to literally extract ourselves from polite society and free ourselves from the heavy hand of the state and its goon squad. In other words, to "disappear."

"You'd be amazed at how much unpopulated territory there is out there," he says, "mostly out in the midwest and beyond." He's flown over it all many times over and insists it wouldn't be too difficult to squat somewhere, build a house, and basically start over. Clearly it would take some doing -- and it would be helpful to be independently wealthy -- but set yourself up with some untraceable phone and internet connections, and you'd be on your way.

Admittedly, for as much as I detest the entire catalog of government violence, such an undertaking would probably be pretty cost prohibitive for me and my family at this point. But it's telling that I've seriously thought about it. Several times.

At this point, I'd be more apt to buy 100 acres in Montana or Wyoming -- or maybe shuffle off to a Caribbean island somewhere -- and remain visible, but at least minimize the influence of the nanny and police states. But if you're in a position to make the leap and you've got the will power, there's a man who might be able to help.

Frank Ahearn, the world's leading "privacy expert," has just published a guide called, How to Disappear and Fall off the Grid. Ahearn specializes in helping people avoid "stalkers, kidnappers, violent partners or the Mob," but certainly his advice might come in handy for folks looking to slip off Big Brother's radar too.

One easy route to anonymity is to establish an International Business Corporation. IBCs, available in many countries, are both legal and allow for complete secrecy with directors and officers of the corporation not having to be listed. An IBC enables you to open an offshore bank account and get a so-called “black” credit card in its name, keeping your personal shopping history anonymous.

Surely this option is only open to the rich and financially literate? Not so, says Ahearn. “Anybody can set one up with, say, $5,000 [£3,500], and you can even do it online.” There are other ways to keep you off unwanted radar. For around $12 a month (£8), you can set up a JFAX or eFax account which means you can get a local phone number in almost any country. When someone calls that number, the message will be forwarded to your e-mail address. Nobody will know where you are. Use prepaid phones, internet cafés, and pay for flights in cash. “Anybody can do this,” Ahearn says. “I can make people hard to find, but fake identities I don’t do. They don’t work, and most times they are illegal.”

Neither will he help fake people’s deaths, a process known as “pseudocide”, much in the news since swindling canoeist John Darwin and his wife Anne were jailed last year for faking his death in a £250,000 life insurance fraud. “Having all those photographs taken of themselves in Panama was a pretty dumb thing to do,” Ahearn says dismissively. “After the Darwins were arrested, I got a lot of e-mails from people in the UK asking me to fix it for them to fake their death and disappear, but I’m just helping genuine folks get a little more privacy from those they don’t want to know, and to help them stay off the radar.”

For more information on how to disappear, visit Frank's website.

To Denis and Trish

Four years already.

 

Lovers of life. Lovers of scotch. No wonder we got along so well. I'll be drinking to you tonight.

Rest in peace, my friends.

Blind Gov Has an Eye for the Lookers

Gov. David Paterson has selected Rep. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) to succeed Hillary Clinton as New York's junior senator.

No word yet on whether Paterson taxed his decision.

UPDATE: Read J.D. Tuccille's spot-on analysis of the newest senator.

I Pledge

To think twice before doing anything that will improve these bozos' Nielsen ratings.

On second thought, I too pledge to do everything I can to help end 21st century slavery -- and that starts by rebuking our new slavemaster, Barack H. Obama.

Why Obama?

I'm obviously not pioneering any new territory here by observing that America's infatuation with Barack Obama primarily is due to the fact that a person of color has finally gotten a seat at the table in what was formerly the country's premier white male's club.

But if the goal simply is to elect a minority to the presidency, why not just open up a phone book and start throwing darts at it?

I've never bought the argument that Obama isn't "qualified" to be president due to some supposed lack of "experience." As a product of the Chicago political machine this claim can probably be discounted on its face, but even a cursory glance at a list of bills sponsored by Obama gives you an idea of how ambitious he really is. Not to mention, a politician's legislative ambition almost always has an inverse relationship with his tolerance for freedom. (There's a reason the congressman nicknamed Dr. No is far and away the most pro-liberty politician statesman in the country.)

So while America coronates its first black president today, you can cheer if you like. Just be sure you realize that Obama has demonstrated no intention of, among other things, taking action to defund America's public schools, ease onerous federal regulations on everything from entrepreneurship to gun ownership, reign in the police state, or abolish the murderous and outright tyrannical war on drugs -- all of which limit individual liberty in general and tend to have a disproportionately negative impact on blacks.

Chesley B. 'Sully' Sullenberger: Hero of Flight 1549

From the inestimable Lew Rockwell, who responds to fellow LRC blogger Karen DeCoster:

...the heroic Sully Sullenberger--who has the white hair I hope to see in the cockpit of any airliner I am taking--pulled off the only ditching with no deaths (and no serious injuries!) in the history of commercial aviation. I notice that he is being hailed by the state media as a product of the federal government, since he is an air force vet. Of course, there they train you to machine-gun, rocket, and bomb strangers on orders--not quite the same thing.

And notice how individuals organized immediately to save all the passengers and crew stranded on the sinking plane? No coast guard, no homeland security, no cops. Oh, the NYPD did send three helicopters to circle the wreck and blow more frigid air on the victims. Then pompous government officials told us the geese were probably not members of al-qaeda. But the private pilot went through the entire sinking plane twice, after he thought everybody was out, to make sure no one was trapped.

I know this may sound like I'm beating a dead horse, but keen observers will keep in mind that, at best, government regulations did nothing to prevent this accident; at worst, they were directly responsible.

One commenter at my Examiner blog had this to say in reference to my post yesterday:

As a former TSA officer who suffered under the tyranny of management rules forced on us by President Bush, I'm proud that union workers were on the scene to fly that plane, serve as flight attendants and of course, the proud union workes of the FDNY.

Sure. It's the fact that the airline employees were unionized that there were no casualties -- not because they were employees of private companies (save for the FDNY), where competition weeds out the incompetent.

You can also bet your last nickel that tyrannical TSA management will hardly be improved under Our Holy Savior. Tragedy was averted yesterday despite the government and its coercive meddling and mandates, not because of it.

First the TSA, Now This

I know I'm not the only person who refuses to fly (forced family vacations notwithstanding) because of the petty tyrants who staff the TSA. But that aside, I have a pretty solid fear of flying in general. Or more to the point, a fear of falling.

This pretty much sums it up.

NEW YORK – A US Airways pilot ditched his disabled jetliner into the frigid Hudson River on Thursday afternoon after a collision with a flock of birds apparently knocked out both engines, but rescuers pulled all 155 people on board into boats as the plane sank. There were no immediate reports of any serious injuries.

Honestly, I'm not sure I wouldn't rather just explode immediately than be forced to tread the cesspool known as the Hudson, but, thanks to the skill of the pilots, everyone survived the crash. Endless federal aviation regulations are bad enough, but I think we can all agree this is a perfect example of why air travel should never be socialized.

Good thing we protect all those birds. I wish the pilots luck in dealing with the impending onslaught from PETA.

Another Year of Oppression

I've never really been a huge fan of New Year's Eve. Last year in Maryland, January 1st marked an increase in income, sales, and cigarette taxes. At the end of this month, we'll usher in a Democratic president who will join a Democratic Congress -- a wholesale guarantee that this single-party control over the federal government will only result in further growth of the state.

On the other hand, NYE parties do provide an opportunity to get together with good friends and drink good beer for a change -- I even had a couple fancy pomegranate martinis last night -- so for that I'm thankful.

But even as we celebrate we're under the watchful eye of the government, whether it's being spied on from above or rounded up at any number of "sobriety checkpoints" that are always a staple on such occasions.

So my new year's resolutions always remain pretty much the same: don't try to reason with unreasonable people, and do whatever I can to continually withdraw myself from the state. Because the state is so intrusive it's very hard to do this -- there can be severe legal penalties for, say, avoiding taxation, and quality of life penalties that accompany, for instance, giving up a passport or many of the other identification documents that are required simply to move about today.

But I can increasingly attempt to work for cash or barter. I can continue to plead with my wife to move to a foreign land. And at the very least, I can continue to use this keyboard to encourage others to see the state for what it really is: evil masquerading as a helping hand.

That said, a happy, peaceful, and prosperous 2009 for you and yours.

Buy HP

This is one of times I shouldn't divulge personal information, but I pretty much feel compelled to given the circumstances.

So I've been known to have a little temper every now and then, where inanimate objects in my house sometimes find themselves casualties of my frustration in the form of happy little fist bumps. If you're a Buffalo sports fan, as I happen to be, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I've gotten a lot better as I've grown older, and aside from that I'm pretty sure I have a lot less serotonin than most people -- so I figure I'm pretty much just a victim. But that didn't stop me from disciplining my laptop computer a couple weeks ago when it up and quit on me.

I'd just used it a couple hours before when I sat down to check email quickly before I went to bed. Although the Sabres were fresh off another loss and I'd only had a few beers, I swear neither of those things were the reason for my little love tap when the monitor fried up.

So in my suddenly depressed state, I smacked the keyboard. Hey, the computer was dead anyway, right? All of a sudden, though, I noticed I'd made a sweet dent on the left side of the board. The feeling I felt was the one where you know you're already in trouble before you're even caught, so I decided my best option was to smack the opposite side of the keyboard to "even out" the damage -- whereby any abnormalities would automatically vanish, apparently.

Well, that didn't work. In fact, the enter key and the semicolon button were forever welded to the keypad. This isn't good. On the bright side, the new wave pattern that had overtaken my keyboard did feel nice to the touch, so maybe there's some new ergonomic patent in my future.

I entertained the idea of going straight to bed and playing dumb in the morning when my wife discovered the computer's new "look," perhaps blaming the damage on a stealth intruder during the night. But I sucked it up, walked upstairs, woke her up, and told her. Not a good idea in hindsight but at least I could sleep well knowing I'd been honest with her.

The next morning we took the computer apart (by "we" I mean my wife) and, interestingly, there didn't appear to be too much damage beneath the keyboard. Apparently, however, you don't need to hit it too hard to bust up circuit boards. I kept telling her the computer was already dead before I whacked it, and she just couldn't stop reminding me that we still had a year left on the warranty. Warranty?

We called HP and for some odd reason they still wanted us to send in the computer to take a look at it, even after we told them it got some mysterious dents on it after the screen fried up.

Well, guess what arrived today. My computer, complete with a new monitor (that's what originally malfunctioned), battery, and keyboard. And the form that came with it mentioned something about work being done to intricate parts responsible for the entire computer's functionality. Balance $0.00.

I want to write HP a letter to thank them profusely for saving my marriage, but at the same time I really don't want them to bill me for all the work. Probably cheaper than a divorce, but still. My wife tells me we have "accident" coverage on it too, and they chalked the extra repairs up to that.

Well, I didn't mean to break it, but all the same, I would've totally understood if they told me to go to hell. I guess there is such a thing as Christmas miracles after all.

Moral of the story: buy HP.

Swear Jar

This is one f***ing funny beer ad.

A Christmas Poem

Like as the fountain of all light created
Doth pour out streams of brightness undefined
Through all the conduits of transparent kind
That heaven and air are both illuminated,
and yet his light is not thereby abated;
So God's eternal bounty ever shined
The beams of being, moving, life, sense, mind,
And to all things himself communicated.
But see the violent diffusive pleasure
Of goodness, that left not, till God had spent
Himself by giving us himself his treasure
In making man a God omnipotent
How might this goodness draw our souls above
Which drew down God with such attractive Love.

--William Alabaster,  (1567-1640)

Merry Christmas!

New 'Big 3' Ad?

Auto bailout motto: Because we can.*

 

* - I'm not sure if there are trademark issues when it comes to satire, but here's the way I see it: You use our money, we'll use your logos.

(Thanks to my sis-in-law for sending.)

I'm Off

To cover at least the first day of the John Edison rape trial, so I should be back with a report tonight. Check in throughout the day, however, for commentary from Brutus.