How the Almighty Tree Is Causing My* Land to Erode

No offense to green bigots, but their precious trees aren't all they're cracked up to be. Radical environmentalists would like everyone to believe that trees are the key to preserving land and preventing "runoff," which erodes soil and supposedly contributes to the decay of waterways, but I'm living proof trees are not the be all, end all.

(Well, I'll caveat this by saying I won't be living too much longer if this fricking monsoon that's pounding Southern Maryland doesn't let up soon -- I'll either die of stress or jump off a cliff as a result of watching the house I moved into yesterday continue to take in water.)

I'm not in the best mood right now, but I'm pretty sure my grouchiness doesn't have nearly as much to do with the fact that my wife and I were up till 2 a.m. cleaning as it does with the fact that my three hours of sleep last night were complemented by the light of dawn's revelation that a good portion of my backyard will never be seen again, washed away by a river of water that had its genesis in all-night downpours.

At this point it probably sounds like I'm "anti-tree" or some such. Hardly. Trees can be both beneficial and detrimental to one's property. Remove too many trees from your land and, indeed, you risk losing a chunk of it during a violent storm, along with a portion of your property's value. On the other hand, allow to stand a mighty tree whose limbs dangle dangerously atop your roof and you risk losing whatever happens to be inside your house -- the roof itself or furniture if you're lucky, the lives of you or your kids if you're not.

But tell some whackjob greenie that you've gone anywhere near a tree with a chainsaw for any reason and you're almost guaranteed to get him just about as hot as two mice humping in a wool sock.

If environmentalists really care so much about the environment and the prevention of erosion, they should have no problem admitting that too much tree coverage can prevent the exposure of sunlight, which is crucial to growing grass, an abundance of which is the best safeguard against runoff and soil erosion in the first place. This is the problem I face in my backyard.

So the trees stand while the land gradually erodes. I'm sure the muddy rivers and streams are grateful.

* There is no such thing as private property when the state extorts fees (which they term "property taxes") from people who purchase plots of land and then proceeds to regulate its use (i.e., tell us what we can and cannot do with it, determine how much fun we're allowed to have on it, etc.). I just figured it would be cumbersome to explain this within the context of the post's original theme.

Comments

[Cal]

Hey planet killer, before you go any further on your evil capitalist anti-tree rampage, you should go watch Avatar again. I know you've seen it at least once, because how could you stand to live a life so mired in abject misery and free from the cultural enlightenment provided by the fiction-based propaganda that the U.S. Department of Entertainment so caringly provides us through their Hollywood bureau. Nevermind that the plot is about as sophomoric as a Dora the Explorer episode, and that the tiny smidgin of acting done by actual humans was about as skillful as that Miss America contestant's response to a question about maps. It's the message that's important: trees are gods, and war is not only glorious but also absolutely necessary to protect them from evil capitalist planet killers like yourself. Sure, plants like grass, ivy ,and iceplant are substantially more effective than trees at preventing erosion, but have you ever tried to hug iceplant?

[kramer]

Iceplant eats golfballs too.. ;)

T-rev...i have learned that chainsaws are amazingly quiet in winds/rain storms...esp at night. :)

Seriously tho, the green weenie moonbats at our local P&Z will tell you that "natural forest coverage (i.e. layers of decomposing pine needles and leaves) provide the best soil absorption and nutrient filter".

Just think...if you were permitted more "lot coverage" then there would have been less soil to run off...