Yesterday my father-in-law treated my wife and me to a Washington Redskins game. Despite the sheer boredom of a scoreless first half and my ambivalent attitude toward professional football in general, I always enjoy a good tailgate and the weather was perfect.
Apparently, however, I wasn't the only one who threw back a few too many cold ones in the parking lot prior to kickoff (if this morning's any indication). I'm pretty sure the drunkest guy in the stadium was sitting directly in front of me.
Now, normally I'm a go along to get along type of guy. But when morons feel the need to stand up and block your view even in between plays, not to mention demonstrate some of the whitest dance moves known to man, I start to second-guess my stance on the non-aggression principle.
Of course, cooler and more sober heads prevailed, as I decided that form tackling the guy out of the blue probably wouldn't have been the smartest move. Not for nothing, the dude looked like he probably had some crazy redneck strength -- if his gray and black camo/cargo pant-and-double trucker hat (that's right: two mesh hats, one fat head) ensemble was any indication. No need to go to jail and get my clock cleaned in the same afternoon.
So, I moved down my row to an unoccupied seat and we all decided to see how long we could put up with this idiot's shenanigans before resorting to reporting him to stadium security. If at all possible, I really try not to be that guy. But as soon as his buddy (who I was now sitting behind) joined him in flailing his arms, inadvertently knocking his spit cup out of his hand and getting chew spit on my wife's jacket, I thought it was on. I'm not sure how many times I tried to rationalize this fiasco as a physical provocation worthy of retaliation, but I still tried to keep my cool. Crazy redneck strength and all. But at this point the entire row above us had seen what happened and started yelling at the guy. You know what that means: now I have backup!
To my surprise, however, the guy actually apologized to my wife immediately. She was blowing it off so I figured what the hell. And if the Browns or Redskins were actually doing anything of interest on the field, we would have had a lot more reason to want to actually see the game instead of this guy's rear end. So I think everything's cool, and then the guy's friend decides to turn around and tell us to "relax" for complaining about the chew spit incident.
I don't know about you, but I don't really like being told to relax by people causing me to get riled up. So I basically told the guy he should be telling his friend not to act like an asshole if he was so intent on giving lectures. He agreed, and that was pretty much the end of this first quarter-long charade.
So on to the point. Did I have a right to not only get angry at someone constantly blocking my view, but also to expect him not to do so? In short, yes.
First of all, though I didn't pay for my ticket, I'm pretty sure my father-in-law shells out about $125 per seat in his season ticket package. You don't pay that kind of money to stare at the pale white chest of a drunken fan; you pay it to see the game. And second, there's a reason venues like stadiums, gymnasiums, and theatres have telescopic seating -- it's so you can actually see what you're looking at.
In terms of property rights, my seat was my property for the day. Just as I would violate the right of the onlooker in front of me to see by leaning forward to block his view with my hands or a stupid homemade banner, so too would he violate mine by standing in front of me. While we have no right to a view through, say, our neighbors' houses to the scenery behind them, we do have a right to see a football field "through" the fans in front of us. This right is implicit in the design of the seating arrangement in the first place.
I suppose there's a bit of a gray area here where the argument could be made that I could always stand up to see over someone standing in front of me. Is this valid? I would say no, mostly because the fan in front of me has no right to force me to adjust my behaviors just to accommodate his. Not to mention, I would then force the person behind me to stand in order to see, and so on and on.
Moreover, people who contract with others have certain expectations of what they will get in exchange for their money or services. For example, when you voluntarily purchase the right to watch a sporting event, you're aware that people will be standing up and sitting down throughout a game. Sometimes you stand to go to the bathroom, to get food, or to cheer a favorable play or even boo an unfavorable one. And sometimes you sit. There are generally accepted conditions going in. Rights begin to get violated when people abuse these conditions, which by and large are laid out by the merchant from the outset. The Washington Redskins organization expects its fans to respect the rights of other customers; fans likewise expect the organization to preserve these rights. This is one of the reasons the team hires ushers and security guards in the first place.
Regardless of team policies, however, the concept of property rights can be used to adjudicate even trivial matters like the one I've outlined here. It really is true that we have the right to do whatever we please as long as we harm no one else in the process. Put differently, my rights end where yours begin. Businesses would not be very successful if they didn't acknowledge and honor this simple concept.
Now for the question of whether I had the right, under the conditions I've discussed, to use force to get the drunk guy in front of me to sit down. Again, no. Absent the initiation of force on his part, I would have violated the non-aggression principle by initiating violence. As I've previously mentioned the fact that I was wondering whether I had the right to engage this man physically as a result of his flinging chew spit on my wife's property, did his act constitute an act of aggression? I think it would be a stretch to conclude as much, for if someone does something by accident -- however infuriating and preventable -- it doesn't validate the use of violence in return.
For example, if someone intentionally uses his car to rear-end you at a stop light, you have every right to jump out of your car and beat him to a pulp to prevent imminent physical harm to your person. If he hits you by accident, jumps out of his car and apologizes for his error and you pop him one anyway, you'll rightly spend the night in jail.
As much as human nature often causes us to react irrationally to bizarre situations, it is incumbent upon us to respect the non-aggression axiom. Even if you argue I would have been justified in shoving a man for slinging a disgusting spit cup at my wife, consider the potential repercussions. What about the lady sitting two rows below him who breaks her neck as he falls onto her? What did she do to deserve this fate? Even if I am exonerated in a court of law for my actions toward the drunk, I am liable for my actions even if the consequences extend beyond the man alone.
You can always sue someone civilly for ruining a jacket; it is a criminal act to initiate violence.